Thursday, February 8, 2018

Reselling the same .. shit.

My experience in meetings over the last few years can be summed up by the statement; reselling the same shit over and over again expecting better results.

Am I taking a shot at aa? I don't know, I am simply stating an observation and experience that repeated itself over and over for me but bear me out your audience a little longer and come to your own conclusions.

One of the last meetings I went to pretty much consisted of a few people that all shared to varying degrees the struggles they were dealing with. All the things that folks deal with everyday whether an alcoholic or not. These folks really laid bare all their troubles and the folks after had wonderful comments to offer those particularly burdened. Then the last person to share started, and went on and on. This person had like 25 years. The person basically pitched over and over all the aa cliches, idioms, sayings and anecdotes then they repeated everything they said again. Peppered through out this share was subtle 'y'all are struggling because you are not doing aa right..' AND 'I don't struggle because I can tell you why you are struggling. Real aa does not struggle'. At no time did this person ever allude to anything remotely resembling they heard the other shares or even tried to find something they had in common with the other folks at the meeting. This person was just a pitch for aa, no benefit to anyone else. The person and share epitomized something I saw as more and more common in the last few years in aa, basically an attitude of (as I heard it said once) 'I have mine, I'm good.. suffer for yours'.

What I really heard from the 'quarter century now addicted to ego and afraid' was ; I have nothing, nothing human, nothing to help, nothing of my own, I am nothing. I have some things; fear, inferiority, ego, pride, ignorance and dishonesty. Before you realize who I am, I am going to knock you down a few pegs and give you a resentment. When you say anything to contradict or question anything I say, I can discount, discredit, dismiss and ostracize you with the only other thing I have to show for all these years of not drinking, that I memorized a few sayings and was well groomed by people that have taken offering nothing by platitudes to an art form.

I kept seeing the above over and over again the last few years, and it seemed that they were starting earlier and earlier. I saw this behavior by someone who had not even picked up their year chip, it broke my heart and made me grateful I still hurt from that inhumanity.

4 comments:

  1. Bill Wilson made up AA with unrealistic over simplistic psychological mumbo jumbo.

    He mistook elation from belladonna given during his detox as a spiritual awakening resulting from surrender of self to God in with the oxford step work that ebbie thatcher told him to do.

    For example, No Justifiable Anger & Whenever you are disturbed you are invariably at fault and you did something to cause your self to be abused - because you did not surrender your self to god.

    Bill Wilson never respected or had compassion for his own abuse or suffering.

    Is it any wonder he ended up depressed.

    AA is not magic. Its known 75% get clean wo any program. It too bad there isn't a general support group that was inclusive of any way that works. I found AA abusive and I believe it is unethical to continue to go to AA and promote AA when AA is unethical and abusive - and saying i could take or leave the abuse is no good healthy excuse for being complicit or promoting AA abuse.

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  2. Some of the aa stuff is (for lack of a better term) a doozy. I had to swallow my want to say "this sounds like gibberish!" many times. I hope you are doing well and I am glad that you see things in your own sight and you see them vs having it dictated to you.

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  3. There are other general support groups... SMART Recovery, LifeRing, Women in Sobriety. Also many hospitals and programs have AfterCare group sessions that are free. AA is NOT the only avenue for recovery.

    Thanks for this blog, it is helping me also.

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    Replies
    1. You are welcome and forgive my delayed response. I am happy to have helped.

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