Tuesday, February 6, 2018

The first few days

I went to my last meeting last week. I am already feeling better, I am less anxious and the near depression I was feeling is already starting to fade. I also noticed that I was frustrated and I don't know how long I've felt that way, thankfully that is fading too.

I told some trusted friends what I am doing, I don't know why because now I don't care who knows.

At this point I've also decided that from now on even when someone probes my answer will be that I am someone who chooses not to drink. I don't feel the need to disclose why I don't drink anymore, I have done my part and given much more than I have taken. I've probably also put up with too much over the years too since I chose to live a principaled, virtuous and honest life long before I was in aa and in hindsight, my risk was I chose to be around a lot of people that were not.

Out of my own volition I chose to be around people that told me time and again what kind of person they were. They were usually in almost direct conflict with my personhood. I'll have to forgive myself and not do that anymore.

All in all, just a few days in and I am feeling better. I am pretty much relieved every time I turn around. I have found gratitude again in most things that were just about driving me crazy.


  1. I also felt a huge weight was lifted from me when I first left AA. I was fed up with the judgemental types in AA. Going to meetings and being part of a sober community helped me at first, but I felt I needed to become more independant as time went on. I am grateful for the help I got in AA but also feel that it is out of date and could help people more. It has the advantage of being the most widely known group out there and so attracts many needing help, but it has paid no attention to advances in medical healthcare in the last century.

  2. Great post SoberLifeisgood, cant wait to hear more and am similar in my experiences especially peoples being indirect conflict with my personhood and i was always a decent honest person

  3. Nice. I got out after 17 years and found I had to deprogram myself from all of the tribal belief systems. I, too, did not want to drink. At the time I left, there were few too blogs that offered healthy alternatives. Most were angry and wanted to drink and bash aa. I am so glad you have a healthier venue today. You can do this and find the authenticity you desire. Best of luck to you.

    1. I agree with you, I had to go through some deprogramming and still going through it. I hope to offer a healthy perspective and option if someone wants to leave aa.


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